Replacements, The (2000)

Edward O'Neil: I've seen monkey-shit fights at the zoo that are more organized than this!

Clifford Franklin: I look like I just jerked off an elephant!

Dawn: Oh my God. I forgot to tell you something. [long pause] Heather: Oh, she does that all the time.

McGinty: That's the great thing about plankton. It pretty much keeps to itself.

Shane Falco: Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory... lasts forever.

Shane Falco: I want the ball. Jimmy McGinty: Winners always do.

Jimmy McGinty: You know what the difference is between a winner and a loser? Shane Falco: The score.

Shane Falco: I wish I could say something classy and inspirational, but that just wouldn't be our style.

Edward O'Neil: Give me a cigarette. Jimmy McGinty: I quit. Eward O'Neil: Nobody likes a quitter, Jimmy.

Nigel 'The Leg' Gruff: Hey Shane Falco! I lost a ton of money on that Sugar Bowl disaster of yours. What a bloody shambles that was. You could smell the stink all the way back in bloody Wales. Shane Falco: Nice meeting you.

John Madden: According to the Sentinels, it says Ray Smith is -- hey, that's weird. No college given, no high school. It just says he's been a resident of the state of Maryland for the last two years and two months, and that he likes to embroider.

Jimmy McGinty: A real man admits his fears. That's what I'm asking you to do here tonight. Who wants to go first? Clifford Franklin: I'm afraid of spiders, Coach.

John Madden: I love to see a fat guy score. Pat Summerall: Why? John Madden: Because first you get a fat guy score, then you get the fat guy dance.

Jimmy McGinty: You're looking at a 65-yard field goal here. Nigel 'The Leg' Gruff: You just hold the ball, Shane, and I'll kick the bloody piss out of it.

[Danny has tackled Shane during practice.] Jimmy McGinty: Good hit. Danny, in practice we don't hit the guys in the red shirts. Daniel Bateman: I know, Coach, but I see that red and I just wanna go after it, like a bull, you know?

Shane Falco: You, ah, wanna come on board for a beer? Annabelle Farrell: Nothing personal, Shane, but I don't date football players. Shane Falco: I don't blame you. Not even quaterbacks? Annabelle Farrell: Especially not quarterbacks. You guys are the biggest babies of all.

Shane Falco: Why me? Jimmy McGinty: I look at you and I see two men: the man you are and the man you should be. Someday those two men will meet, and it should make for one hell of a football player.