South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)

Canadian Representative: Our government has apologized for Bryan Adams on numerous occasions!

[After student provides incorrect answer to math problem] Mr. Garrison: All right, now let's hear it from someone who isn't a complete retard?

Canadian Ambassador: Can I finish? Can I finish? Can I finish? [pause] I'm finished.

Sheila Broflovski: Just remember what the MPAA says: Horrific, deplorable violence is okay, as long as people don't say any naughty words!

Mr. Garrison: Sorry kids, I just can't trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

[In bed together.] Satan: Is sex the only thing that matters to you? Sadaam Hussein: I love you.

Terrance: You're such a pig-fucker, Phillip! Phillip: Terrance, why would you call me a pig-fucker? Terrance: Well, let's see. First of all, you fuck pigs. Phillip: Oh yeah!

Stan: Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people?

[After student provides incorrect answer to math problem] Mr. Garrison: Ok, now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard... anyone?

[To Phillip] Terrance: This is worse than the time when I fell asleep and you put your dick in my mouth and took a picture.

Brooke Shields: I once farted on the set of Blue Lagoon.

Stan: [singing] The sun is shining and the grass is green. / Under the three feet of snow, I mean.

Newscaster: It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by wild boars and the world is still glad to be rid of him.

Cartman: Kyle, all those times I said you were a dumb, stupid Jew, well, I was wrong, you're not a Jew. Kyle: Cartman, I *am* Jewish! Cartman: There, there, don't be hard on yourself, Kyle.

Cartman: That movie has warped my fragile little mind.

Cartman: Mom? If you were in a German Scheisse video, you... you'd tell me, wouldn't you? [short pause] Mrs. Cartman: Sure, hon.

Cartman: Yes, that's right, I saw the Terrance and Phillip movie. Now who wants to touch me?

Chef: Haven't you heard of the Emancipation Proclamation? General: I don't listen to hip-hop.

Kyle: Let me have some more candy Cartman. Eric Cartman: Let's see, hmm, I don't have any Jewish candy. Kyle: Fine! Like you really need more, fat boy!

Dr. Doctor: We accidentally replaced your heart with a baked potato. You have about three seconds to live.

Stan Marsh: But this is going to be the best movie ever! It's a foreign film from Canada.

Stan Marsh: Hang on, before you do, search for the word "clitoris." Kyle Broslofski: OK, hang on... 1,830,000 pages found with the word clitoris.

Stan Marsh: What would Brian Boitano do / If he was here right now / He'd make a plan and he'd follow through / That's what Brian Boitano would do.

Mr. Garrison: I can't wait to take leave so I can get me some fucking poontang.

Saddam Hussein: All this torturing people gets me HOT!

Kyle Broflovski: Hey, Mole, be careful. Mole: Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a clothes hanger while I was still in the womb? Stan Marsh: Man, that kid is fucked up!

Eric Cartman: Kyle, all those times I called you a stupid Jew, I didn't mean it. You're not a Jew. Kyle Broflovski: Yes I am, Cartman! I AM a Jew! Eric Cartman: No, no, don't be so hard on yourself.