Jerry Maguire (1996)

Dicky Fox: The key to this business is personal relationships.

Jerry Maguire: I don't like black people? I am Mister black people.

Bob Sugar: It's not "show friends." It's show *business*.

Jerry: I lost the number one draft pick the night before the draft! Rod: Well, boo-fucking-hoo.

Laurel Boyd: Don't cry at the begining of a date. Cry at the end, like I do.

Dorothy: Look at me Lorial, I'm the oldest 26 year old in the world.

Dorothy: On the surface, everything seems fine. I've got this great guy. And he loves my kid. And he sure does like me a lot. And I can't live like that. It's not the way I'm built.

Tidwell: I got a shelf life of ten years, tops. My next contract's gotta bring me the dollars that'll last me and mine a long time. Shit, I'm out of this sport in 5 years. What's my family gonna live on? Huh?

Tidwell: Anyone else would have left you by now, but I'm sticking with you. And if I have to ride your ass like Zorro, you're gonna show me the money.

Jerry Maguire: I'm still sort of moved by your "My word is stronger than oak" thing.

Jerry Maguire: Do you know what it's like to be ME out here for YOU? It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about!

Tyson Tidwell: That's my mo-fo.

Jerry Maguire: I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game *featuring you*, while singing your own song in a new commercial, *starring you*, broadcast during the Superbowl, in a game that you are winning, and I will not *sleep* until that happens. I'll give you fifteen minutes to call me back.

Laurel Boyd: You fuck this up, I'll kill you! Jerry Maguire: I'm glad we had this talk.

Rod Tidwell: You are hanging on by a very thin thread and I dig that about you!

Ethan: Everybody loves you. Pisses me off.

Jerry Maguire: I'm not trying to make history here.

Laurel Boyd: I'm incapable of small talk.

Jerry Maguire: How's your head? Rod Tidwell: Bubblicious.

Copy store clerk: That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!

Jerry Maguire: Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren't completely embarassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow's embarassment?

Avery Bishop: There is no real loyalty, and the first person who taught me that was you. Jerry Maguire: I figure I was trying to sleep with you at the time. Avery Bishop: Well, it worked.

[Dorothy enters kitchen, catching Laurel eavesdropping.] Laurel: I heard. Dorothy: No kidding. I looked over and saw the shadow of two curious shoes under the kitchen door. Laurel: Dorothy, this guy would go home with a gardening tool if it showed interest.

Dorothy Boyd: I love him! I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is.

Jerry Maguire: I did NOT "shoplift the pootie"!

Dorothy Boyd: I just want to be inspired.

Rod Tidwell: Who's your motherfucker? Jerry Maguire: You're my motherfucker!

Dorothy Boyd: I've had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath.

Dorothy Boyd: Maybe love shouldn't be such hard work.

Dicky: If this [points to heart] is empty, this [points to head] doesn't matter.

Jerry: Do you want this jacket? I don't need it. I'm cloaked in failure!

Jerry: Jump in my nightmare, the water's warm!

Ray: You said fuck. It's okay. I won't tell.

Jerry Maguire: What do you want from me? My soul? Dorothy Boyd: Why not? I deserve that much.

Jerry Maguire: This is going to change everything. Dorothy Boyd: Promise?

Ray: Did you know the human head weighs eight pounds?

Jerry Maguire: I won't let you get rid of me.

Jerry Maguire: I love you. You... complete me. Dorothy Boyd: Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at "hello."

Dorothy Boyd: I have this great guy. And he loves my son. And he sure does like me a lot.

Rod Tidwell: Show me the money!

Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!

Jerry Maguire: That's more than a dress. That's an Audrey Hepburn movie.

Ray Boyd: What's wrong, Mommy? Dorothy Boyd: First class, that's what's wrong. It used to be a better meal, now it's a better life.

Dicky Fox: I have failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my life. I love my wife. And I wish you my kind of success.

Jerry Maguire: But if anybody else wants to come with me, this moment will be the ground floor of something real and fun and inspiring and true in this godforsaken business and we will do it together! Who's coming with me besides... "Flipper" here?

[Looking over an inadequate contract] Jerry Maguire: I'll go back to them. Marcee Tidwell: And say what? "Please remove your dick from my ass"?

Marcee Tidwell: I'm sorry, I'm just a little pregnant here.

Dorothy: I was inspired. And I'm an accountant.