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How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)


Grinch: Jury duty, jury duty, jury duty, blackmail, pink slip, jury duty, jury duty!

[His answering machine greeting] Grinch: If you utter so much as one syllable, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you want to fax me, press the star key.

Cindy Lou Who: Santa, what's the meaning of Christmas? Grinch: VENGEANCE! I mean... presents, I suppose.

Grinch: Oh, the Who-manity!

Grinch: That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been ABOUT! Gifts, gifts... gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! You wanna know what happens to yor gifts? They all come to me. In your garbage. You see what I'm saying? In your GARBAGE! I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump. And the avarice... THE AVARICE NEVER ENDS! "I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue!" Look, I don't wanna make waves, BUT this WHOLE Christmas season is STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!

Grinch: Those Whos are hard to frazzle, Max. But, we did our worst, and that's all that matters.

Grinch: Blast this Christmas music! It's joyful and triumphant.

Grinch: Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double Hate! LOATHE ENTIRELY!

Grinch: What's that stench? It's fantastic!

Grinch: Are you having a holly, jolly Christmas?

Cindy Lou Who: Santa, don't forget the Grinch. I know he's mean and hairy and smelly, and his hands are cold and clammy, but I think he's kinda... sweet. Grinch: SWEET! ...You think he's sweet? [Cindy runs upstairs] Cute kid, bad judge of character.

Grinch: MAX! HELP ME... I'm FEELING!

Lou Lou Who: I'm glad he took our presents. You can't hurt Christmas, Mr. Mayor, beacuse it isn't about the... the gifts or the contest or the fancy lights. That's what Cindy's been trying to tell everyone... and me. I don't need anything more for Christmas than this right here: my family.

[Hurtling toward Whoville] Grinch: I'm gonna die! I'm gonna throw up, then I'm gonna die!

[a taxicab passes him by] Grinch: It's because I'm green isn't it?!

Grinch: The nerve of those Whos! Inviting me down there--and on such short notice! Even if I wanted to go my schedule wouldn't allow it. Four o'clock, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one. 5:30, jazzercize. 6:30, dinner with me. I can't cancel that again! 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing; I'm booked! Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9 I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?!

The Grinch: One man's toxic waste is another man's potpourri. [Max barks] I don't know, it's some kind of soup.

Narrator: The Whos young and old would sit down to a Feast, and they will feast, and they will feast. The Grinch: And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast! They'll eat their Who-Pudding and rare Who-Roast Beast. But there's something I just cannot stand in least... Oh no! I'M SPEAKING IN RHYME!




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