Home Fries (1998)

Dorian: I'd like to be the father-to-be. Sally: You can't be the father and the brother! That's the kind of thing that messes kids up!

Angus: Mom, what'd you mean when you said Dorian was your favorite? Mrs. Lever: Oh, Angus, I love you both. [Holds thumb and forefinger an inch apart] It's a difference of *this* much.

[Instructing Sally to give birth] Childbirth Instructor: You didn't get pregnant with your legs closed!

Sally: I've always dreamed of being a big hit singer. Dorian: Oh, can you sing? Sally: No, that's why they call them dreams.