Full Monty, The (1997)

Police Inspector: Does your daddy always take his clothes off in front of you? Nathan: Only when he's rehearsing.

Gaz: Told 'ya, robbing pipes, that's all. Police officer: Gary, my friend, no bugger robs pipes in the buff. Gaz: We do. Don't get your clothes dirty, do you?

[Discussing possible means of suicide.] Dave: There's always drowning. Lomper: But I can't swim.

Dave: Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is not.

Gerald: He's fat, you're thin, and you're both fucking ugly.

Horse: No one said anything to me about the full monty!

Gary 'Gaz' Schofield: Folks don't laugh so loud when you've a grand in your back pocket.

Gaz: Y' know Dave, it's a thought... Gerald: Ha! I could just see Little and Large prancing around Sheffield with their widges hanging out. Now that *would* be worth 10 quid... Gaz: Don't be so bloody daft. We were just saying... Gerald: Widges on parade! Bring your own microscope!