Con Air (1997)

Cameron Poe: There's only two men I trust. One is me. The other is not you.

Cameron Poe: There's now three people I trust. Vince Larkin: Am I one of them?

Cyrus 'the Virus' Grissom: Oh, nothing makes me sadder than the agent lost his bladder on the airplane.

Cyrus 'the Virus' Grissom: Thank you Poe, you've proven to be a most useful mammal. Poe: Many hands make light work. My father taught me that. Cyrus 'the Virus' Grissom: Know what my father taught me? Nothing. Poe: Self-educated man.

Cyrus 'the Virus' Grissom: It's not difficult to surmise Nathan's feelings towards killing these guards; and my own proclivities are well-known and often-lamented facts of penal lore.

'Pinball': Hey, man. You Swamp Thing? Swamp Thing: That's right. 'Pinball': You gonna fly the plane? Swamp Thing: That's right. 'Pinball': It's amazing the shit you white trash know. Swamp Thing: That's right.

Cyrus 'the Virus' Grissom: If we let you out, are you gonna play nice, Billy? William 'Billy Bedlam' Bedford: Probably not.

Guard Falzon: If any of you so much as pass gas in my direction and upset my delicate nasal passages, your testicles will become my private property.

Little Girl: Are you sick? Garland 'The Marietta Mangler' Greene: Why do you ask? Little Girl: You look sick. Garland 'The Marietta Mangler' Greene: I am sick. Little Girl: Do you take medicine? Garland 'The Marietta Mangler' Greene: There is no medicine for what I have.

[They can't reach Vince Larkin] Duncan Malloy: Well of course you can't reach him. He's off saving the rain forest, or recycling his sandals or some shit.

[Cyrus is about to burn Cindino alive] Francisco Cindino: Cy! Cyrus: ...onara!

[Holding a gun to the stuffed animal bunny.] Cyrus: Don't move or the bunny gets it.

Cameron Poe: Put... the bunny... back... in the... box.

Cyrus: I despise rapists. For me, they're somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corners of your mouth when you're really thirsty. But, in your case, I'll make an exception.

Agent Sims: I'm DEA, d'you know what the fuck that means? Pinball: It means you're the most crooked nigger on the plane!

Local cop: I got a problem with a corpse. Larkin: Yeah? Local cop: Yeah, fell from the sky. I don't think he's an astronaut.

Duncan Malloy: Beautiful? Sunsets are beautiful, newborn babies are beautiful. This... this is fucking spectacular!

Garland Green: What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to piss off; ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn’t you consider that to be insane?

[To Cyrus, while holding a gun] Pinball: You didn't mean that "dirty nigger crackhead" shit, did you? Cyrus: Give me that gun. [Takes the gun.] Hell yes, I meant it.

[Threatening the pilot at gunpoint] Cyrus: And if you say a word about this over the radio, the next wings you see will belong to the flies buzzing over your rotting corpse.

Vince Larkin: Are you with me or do you need me to draw it in crayon like usual?

Garland Greene: He's a fountain of misplaced rage. Name your cliche; Mother held him too much or not enough, last picked at kickball, late night sneaky uncle, whatever. Now he's so angry that moments of levity actually cause him pain; give him headaches. Happiness, for that gentleman, hurts.

Pinball: I hate to say this, Cyrus, but we are three white dudes short. Or as they say in Ebonics, "We be fucked".

Billy "Billy Bedlam" Bedform: Have you lost your mind? Cyrus "The Virus" Grissom: According to my last psych evaluation yes.

Cyrus the Virus: Johnny, can you fly? Johnny 23: No. Cyrus the Virus: You keep that in mind, cause if your dick jumps out of your pants, you jump off this plane!

Duncan Malloy: What's with dictionary-boy over here? Vince Larkin: I believe thesaurus-boy would be more appropriate.

Duncan Malloy: This is one problem that needs to be un-fucked right now!

Sally Can't Dance: What can I do? Cyrus Grissom: Take this gun. And if any one comes near you, scratch their eyes out!

[Sally Can't Dance is surrounded by cops.] Sally Can't Dance: Ooh. Men in uniform.

Baby O: What's wrong with him? Cameron Poe: My first guess would be... a lot.

Vince Larkin: Cyrus, where are you taking my plane? Cyrus Grissom: We're going to Disney Land.

Cyrus Grissom: The last thing your daughter will smell will be my hot stinking breath!

Cyrus Grissom: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I have the only gun on board. Welcome to Con Air.

Cameron Poe: You got a gun? Vince Larkin: Yeah! Cameron Poe: Then shoot that piece of shit!

Vince Larkin: If you can't trust a South American drug lord, who can you trust? [silence] That was a joke. Cameron Poe: I'm glad you told me.

John "Johnny 23" Baca: Do you know what I am? Cameron Poe: Ugly all day?

Cameron Poe: Somehow they managed to get every creep and freak in the universe on this one plane.

Vince Larkin: Cyrus is a poster child for the criminally insane.

[After seeing a Corvette being towed in the air by a plane.] Cameron Poe: On any other day, that might seem strange.

Garland "The Marietta Mangler" Greene: One girl, I drove through three states wearing her head as a hat.

Vince Larkin: They call him Cyrus the Virus. He claims he's killed more people than cancer.

Vince Larkin: So what are you going to do now? Cameron Poe: What do you think I'm gonna do? I'm gonna save the fuckin' day!

["Sweet Home Alabama" plays in background.] Garland Greene: Define irony: a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.