City Slickers (1991)

[While Mitch Robbins is delivering the calf (Norman)] Mitch Robbins: You know, this was not in the brochure...

Phil Berquist: You know you were right, Mitch. My life is a "do-over". It's time to get started. Mitch Robbins: I hope I can help. Ed Furillo: Now I'm gonna go home, and I'm gonna get Kim pregnant. Mitch Robbins: I hope I can help.

Cookie: The food's brown, hot, and plenty of it.

Mitch Robbins: Have you ever had that feeling that this is the best I'm ever gonna do, this is the best I'm ever gonna feel... and it ain't that great? Station Manager: Happy Birthday.

Clay Stone: Great gobs of goose shit!

Clay Stone: I feel as happy as a puppy dog with two peters.

Clay Stone: When you three first got here, you were as worthless as hen shit on a pump handle.

Mitch Robbins: Those cows trusted us.

[First line (running through the streets in front of angry bulls, deliberately)] Mitch Robbins: Whose idea was this anyway?

Mitch: Excuse me, el doctor! Hello...? Don't sew anything up thats supposed to remain open, ok?

Mitch: Women need a reason for having sex, men just need a place

[Phil, the supermarket manager, has gotten a co-worker pregnant.] Ed: What did you use for protection, paper or plastic?

Ed Furillo: The three of us, New Mexico. We're going to drive cattle. Mitch Robbins: What, like in a truck?

Mitch Robbins: Value this time in your life kids, because this is the time in your life when you still have your choices, and it goes by so quickly. When you're a teenager you think you can do anything, and you do. Your twenties are a blur. Your thirties, you raise your family, you make a little money and you think to yourself, "What happended to my twenties?" Your forties, you grow a little pot belly you grow another chin. The music starts to get too loud and one of your old girlfriends from highschool becomes a grandmother. Your fifties you have a minor surgery. You'll call it a procedure, but it's a surgery. Your sixties you have a major surgery, the music is still loud but it doesn't matter because you can't hear it anyway. Seventies, you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, you start eating dinner at two, lunch around ten, breakfast the night before. And you spend most of your time wandering around malls looking for the ultimate in soft yogurt and muttering "how come the kids don't call?" By your eighties, you've had a major stroke, and you end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can't stand but who you call mama. Any questions?

Mitch: Rollin', rollin', rollin', keep them dogies rollin', man my ass is swollen, Rawhide! Round em up, ride em in, get em up, get em dressed, comb their hair, brush their teeth, Rawhide! Tie me down, tell me lies, pull my hair, slap my thighs - with a big wet strap of, Rawhide!

Phil Berquist: If hate were people, I'd be China!

Phil Berquist: Where are you from? Ben Jessup: Baltimore. We have a dental practice there. Mitch Robbins: Really, you're both dentists? Steve Jessup: Yes! We're black AND we're dentists. Let's not make an issue out of it. Ben Jessup: Eh, they're not making an issue of it. You're making an issue of it.

Bonnie Rayburn: Listen, it took a lot of courage to do what you did. Thank you. Mitch Robbins: I'm married.

[When Mitch is talking badly of Curly] Mitch: He's right behind me, isn't he?

Curly: I crap bigger than you!

[Ed Furillo accuses Mitch Robbins of flirting with Bonnie Rayburn] Mitch Robbins: That was "have a pleasant and restful evening." Ed Furillo: No, that was "I like your ass. Can I wear it as a hat?"

Mitch Robbins: Hi Curly. Killed anyone today? Curly: The day ain't over yet...