Christmas Vacation (1989)

Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark? Clark Griswold: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the christmas lights.

Clark: Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead? Cousin Eddie: Naw, I'm doing just fine, Clark.

Cousin Eddie: If that cat had nine lives it sure used 'em all.

Clark W. Griswold: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!

[Todd and Margo Chester, the Griswold's yuppie neighbors, appear.] Todd: Hey Griswold! Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big? Clark Griswold: Bend over and I'll show you. Todd: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold. Clark Griswold: I wasn't talking to you.

Clark W. Griswold: Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah!