American Pie (1999) Michelle: And this one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy. Jim: [Choking on his beer.] Excuse me? Michelle: What, you don't think I know how to get myself off? Hell, that's what half of band camp is... sex-ed! So, are we gonna screw soon? 'Cause I'm getting kinda antsy. Michelle: What's my name? SAY MY NAME, BITCH! Jim: Michelle! Michelle. Steve Stifler: I'll see you guys tonight, in the "No Fucking Section," right? Finch: God bless the Internet. [During sex.] Stifler's Mom: Oh, Finchy. Finch. Finch: Oh, Stifler's Mom, whoa! Stifler: I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking USE them! Jim: I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful woman masturbating on my bed. Jim: You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us. Jim: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like? Kevin: You want to take this one? Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Like warm apple pie. Jim: Yeah? Chris "Oz" [On being sensitive] Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: You ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit. Stifler: I dunno, man, that sounds like a lot of work. Jim: She's gone! Oh my God, she used me. I was used. I was used! Cool! Stifler's Mom: I got some scotch. Finch: Single malt? Stifler's Mom: Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.
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